A conversation with a dear friend led me to reason out that ‘letting go’ is perhaps tougher on the face of one’s ego. He pointed that most often people are incapable of letting go as they intuitively consider it as a sign of weakness with refusal to adequately respond to the situation. And that there exists a fear of getting exposed, of coming clean off their shallow individuality.
I often get asked as to, why do I not react to people or things. I guess overtime, I have grown into being judicious and immune of who or what affects me. In retrospect, I recall my mother-in-law preaching constantly ‘to let go’. Looking back, I never really comprehended her words at that time, but slowly have been hard-wired into it. I believe, almost everyone exercises this in their lives, but in varied degrees and also are selective in their approach to it. But at the same time, I realize that unless one truly ingrains it in their routine, ‘to let go’ is just one amongst thousands of other metaphysical phrases.
Sometimes I wonder what makes it so tough for people to easily exercise ‘letting go’. Over time my inference says, it is closely associated to how yielding or empathetic one can get. Because letting go in one manner or the other implies surrendering, of yielding to accommodate another person’s existence, let alone superiority. And to yield or to empathize are derivations of your personality, of — ‘who you are as a person’, hence uncommon.
Let me explain — sometime back I read an article that talked about the theory of evolutionary psychology of humans. It described that human psyche is conditioned to negative emotions as a method of ‘self-defense’. Self-defense arises of a feeling of vulnerability and vulnerability arrives as you feel threatened. To conclude, a person holds on to his or her negative emotions about something or someone which made them feel susceptible to feeling unappreciated or harmed in any manner. Which in turn disapproves of inherent forgiveness or forgetting.
Another factor is also that ‘letting go’ is often associated with getting over certain specific unpleasant moments. But mostly, also fail to acknowledge that ‘letting go’ is also with things that occur on a everyday basis — events, people, conversations, emotions and feelings. Once you learn to recognize your reactions, gain the ability to truly introspect and relate to your momentary emotions and refuse to be victimized, you automatically develop a habit to — not take things personally. This is letting go. It is all about giving only as much importance as it deserves. You either ‘forget’ or ‘forgive’ or ‘feel neutral’ about it. Feeling neutral does not mean your emotion is not important, it just means that, ‘that’ does not merit a lot of you, at least momentarily.
Having said that, it is imperative to acknowledge your feelings and especially the negative emotions that arise of unpleasant experiences. It is pivotal for an overall emotional health. Pushing it under the carpet never works really. So acknowledging them, if needed also regretting is healthy. But the next day, having the ability to let go and move ahead is paramount.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own” — Jack Kornfield
There are too many content available on the web which explains that ‘letting go’ is a sign of utmost inner strength, to be able to have the required self control and not get carried away and influenced, when life or situations gives you many reasons otherwise. So I will save you from that. Let me know what you feel.
P.S. this is a post I had shared couple of months back on LinkedIn. Felt relevant has brought it here..
